Cup Of Death

Week 5 roundup and a look ahead

2008-10-08T20:22:00.000-07:00

Fact: Rick(y) Brown managed to lose to Mitch's replacement, Shawn Tasman. I have never been so embarrassed for someone in my entire life.

Anyway last week when as follows:

Cosa Nostra took out Weekend @ Bernie's, 121-94
Browning's Neagle enjoyed VICTORY against Viking Quest, 122-104
Titletown bounced back to beat Hoosier Hysteria, 159-94 (sick week Bale)
The Tasman Empire (more like county) beat Kosher Beef, 119-110

A look to week 6's lines:

Viking Quest -16.5 over Weekend @ Bernie's
Browning's Neagle -40 over Kosher Beef
Cosa Nostra -8.5 over Hoosier Hysteria
Titletown USA -22.5 over Tasman Empire

As for our Hoosiers, they are 6 point dogs at home against Iowa.

Finally, I know there has been some talks of peeps going into Bloomington for Homecoming. That would be a mere 2 weeks away (October 25th). So obviously if there was some kind of contingency plan, it would have to be made sometime this weekend (atleast for those who would be going via airplane. So yea, talk amongst yourselves and ya'll better repent for your disgusting and horrific sins that you have done over the past year tomorrow. Have a good fast.

Week 4 Round Up and a trip back to school

2008-09-30T10:28:00.000-07:00

A quick recap of the week that was in the BFFL before I get into the debauchery of Cup of Death vers 1.2.

Weekend @ Bernie's took down the previously unbeaten TitleTown USA, 125-106
Browning's Neagle whipped (pronounced chhhhhhwhipped) Cosa Nostra by 38
Hoosier Hysteria kept up his surprising September by beating The Comeback Kid, 110-102
Kosher Beef beat Viking Quest by 7 (sorry, no VICTORY! for Craiggers)

Now onto the weekend.

On Friday, September 26th, Evan Cabat, Matt Birnbach, Andrew Bale, Adam Brand (honorary member of COD), Shawn Tasman, Doug Marks and Rick Brown all descended for Bloomington, Indiana.

In a moment eerily reminiscent of a scene out of Super Troopers, Ricky was pulled over for speeding en route to Bloomington. Doug decided it would be best to eat what was remaining of his herb. Not a good idea then, definitely not a good idea in hindsight.

We all arrived into Bloomington by 9pm eastern standard time. We met up at Uncle D's pizza (next to Jimmy John's, below Upstairs). We all had slices of fresh pizza, Doug instead broke out in red patches all over his body. He would not stop scratching himself for the next 4 hours.

During this time, beer pong was played. Matt Birnbach was clearly the Beerpong MVP of the weekend, carrying his teammate (Evan Cabat) to numerous victories and routinely pikcing up 7-9 cups out of 10 for his team. It was around this time that Doug was getting very cold and was bunching himself in blankets. We made our way to Nick's for some sinking of the biz. Within 25 minutes, Cabat would leave to go plant his wild oats. After about 45 minutes of biz sinking, we started to get kind of worried when Doug refused to answer his phone. So we went back to check on him. He was freezing cold, and bundled under about 25 lbs of blankets. He was shivering. We assumed he would make it through the night. Right assumption on our part. The rest of the night, people went their different ways, some going to Sports and enjoying, and others going to Kilroys and enjoying.

Saturday morning. Gameday.9 am we all meet for Bagels at Bagel Nation. or was it Bagel Planet. or Bagel Country. or Bagel Emprioum. Whatever it was, we had bagels. Well most of us did. Birnbach had 1 bite and called it breakfast.

On the way home, Ricky had to take his preeverything dump (Seriously whenever he has to do anything in life, he gets so nervous that his bowels explode and he must race to the nearest bano). As you can see from the picture up top, Ricky never did make it to the tailgating as he was relegated to the toilet till about 3 in the afternoon.

Tailgating was a good old time. For some reason ESPN the Magazine had some kind of party there and we all got plenty of goodies, including deoderant (Cabat applied some immediately). En route to the tailgating, Doug cut his toe open. Karma gave a big F-U to Doug all weekend. We all enjoyed his misery. Anyway, beers were shotgunned and bonged, and then we headed into the stadium to watch our beloved Hoosiers drop back to back pick 6s and slowly give the game away to Sparty. Oh and Kellen Lewis not being the every down QB was pretty fucking annoying. As were the kids in back of us that suggested that Ben Chappell was a competent quarterback. We had a nearly moment in the crowd in front of us as a 53 NO WAIT 54 year old woman and a 20 year old student (girl) were yelling at each other about tickets. This was quite enjoyable. A few cute girls sat in front of us, including one with some awesome star tattoos. There was also this British dude all over his 20 year old daughter. This was creepy and hot at the same time.

We left at halftime as Indiana would trail by 5. It was time for a Big 10 special from Pizza Express (can't be called a big 10 anymore as ruled by the big 10). We made it back to see Ricky finally healthy again, layin on the couch watchin some football. His bowels were fine, but as usual there was still plenty of sand in his vagina. Football/nap time engulfed the rest of the afternoon.

We would meet up at Buffalouies for dinner. Everyone enjoyed their wings (Birnbach had 2, wtf is wrong with that kid) and Ricky went to have noodles because apparently his tummy hurted. Saturday night involved more beer pong and some of the worst/most awesome dancing you have every seen in your life. Mower's were started, shopping carts were pushed and shampoo was put into hair. It was that awesome.

We all made it out to Sports but it wasn't the same. Birnbach, Cabat and Bale were pretty sober and decided to bounce for the road at 2:20 to get to the airport by 4:15 to get on their flights at 6 and 7 am respectively. Birnbach and Cabat flew back early to watch the Marlins-Mets game at the last regular season game at Shea Stadium. (Birnbach enjoyed, Cabat not so much).

I leave you with this picture. [picture removed in case Ricky someday runs for office] This pretty much sums up our entire weekend. I only have one thing left to say. Who's going up for homecoming? Who's gonna do 1? Who's gonna play one more game of Lance Armstrong Beerpong (one ball).

Weekly Round Up

2008-09-24T10:21:00.000-07:00

Sorry for no post on week 2, I was sans the internet. Now I am the opposite of sans. As I am with the internet.

Not much has changed from the first week of the season. Bale is still in first, Shawn is still in last.

High Score Week 3: Cosa Nostra (dumbest name in the league by a fortnight) put up a staggering 152.80 against Rick(y)'s porous and pathetic defense. Brandon Marshall continues to be a man possessed out there. Things could get back for Douglass if/when he gets charged/arrested/something silly in the near future. By the way, how big of a disappointment has Vernon Davis been in his young career so far? Holy crap what a bust.

Low Score: No shock here as the Comeback Kid put up a robust 70 points in a loss against The Ginz. Sad to believe that his leading scorer this week was Baltimore Defense... by almost 7 points. His team is an embarassment to the league and to his family. I have recently put up Mitch's picture around NYC in hopes of finding him so he can come back an rescue Shawn's pathetic excuse for a team.

Pick up of the week: All the pickups suck. Bale should lose points for actually signing Brian Griese. I don't care what he did last week. He sucks like a vaccum. That's alot.

Fearless Predictions week 3:
Titletown USA over Weekend @ Bernie's
Browning's Neagle over Cosa Nostra
Hoosier Hysteria over Comeback Kid
Viking Quest over Kosher Beef

On a none league related note Cup of Death makes it's trumphant return to Bloomington this coming weekend. Here are Las Vegas' odds for the weekend:

Indiana +8.5 vs Michigan State
Birnbach to puke on a church- 9:5
Rick(y) over/under 7.5 in appropriate jokes/comments in front of girls
Doug actually going through with his talk and going home with a large ebony beauty- 14:1
Evan Cabat donning glasses once again- 25:1
Shawn having two threesomes in one night- 4:1
Birnbach to claim that either Friday or Saturday is the best Friday or Saturday ever- 2:3
Bale to have the music turned up- 11:10

The Week That Was: Week 1

2008-09-09T09:08:00.000-07:00

Interesting first week in the BFFL. We found out some things about some teams. And in other cases, we have no clue what is going on.

High Score: Andrew "Champ... if last year counted" Bale put up 138.2 behind huge days from Donovan McNabb, Hines Ward (had no clue he was alive) and Marion Barber. This was to be expected as Bale always brings it strong, then quickly turns up the music for everyone to hear.

Low score: Shawn Tasman's "The Comeback Kid" put up a robust, yea you heard me... robust 68.84 in his first week in the BFFL. Seriously, where is Mitch? This is embarrassing. Even with Tom Brady going down, TCK still managed to have Santonio Holmes, Willis McGahee and Chris Cooley bring in a combined 2.60 points. That's some quality drafting this year. You should probably change your name to "Bye Week". There is a serious chance this team does not win a game all year, or even break 100.

Pick Up of the week: Weekend @ Bernie's grabbed Matt Cassel at about 1:36 on Sunday afternoon. Birnbach you sly sonovabitch! Keeping up with all the action, he was able to snag the one QB in the NFL to not start a game in high school. More importantly, it stopped Shawn and Craig from having a decent QB #2. That's right, I just called out Matt Hasselbeck.

Let it be known that Andrew Bale has already made 7 moves on the waiver wire. Clearly means he is into dudes in some way.

For sure after week 2, we will have one team at 2-0 (Kosher Beef vs Titletown USA) and one team at 0-2 (The Comeback Kid vs Weekend @ Bernie's)

Fearless Week 2 Predictions: (Using yahoo's guesses as the spreads)

Weekend @ Bernies -1.5 vs The Comeback Kid
Hoosier Hysteria +9 vs Browning's Neagle
Titletown USA -14.5 vs Kosher Beef
Cosa Nostra +10 vs Viking Quest

Also not league related, but certainly cup of death related.... Evan Cabat and Rick(y) Brown will be in Bloomington this Thursday night "recruiting" for their respective companies. Seriously, are there two worse people to have recruiting for your company? Also, Rick(y) will be forced to wear a baseball cap. In this cap will be a camera and we will be able to watch what he watches all evening. I assume it will be mostly girls cleavage but thats fine for a Thursday night.

till next week...

Season Preview

2008-09-02T20:55:00.000-07:00

Real solid draft fellas. I enjoyed it much. My favorite part (besides watching Cabat try to make picks, eat pizza, and type in those picks) was Craig botching Mr Irrelevant. Bravo good sir.

On with the preview:

Most likely to trade all of his picks for a member of the Vikings front office: Craig Ginsburg. Solid QBs and WR, not loving the RBs but they could be good. Green Bay D could be scary bad.

Most likely to make us all look like idiots: Evan Wasserman. Say what you want, but the kid has brass balls. He's got something we all wish we had, intangibles. He drafts guys like Jeremy Shockey and James Hardy way too early, only to be rewarded with huge seasons later. He should be saluted for this, not chastized I say. (Note: Wasserman was also voted "Most likely to ignore team all season")

Most likely to be the best team in the league but fall short of the title (again): Doug Marks. The kid straight up knows what he's doing. He's so confident in his game, he didn't even draft a kicker. That worries me as a fellow owner.

Most likely to say something inappropriate to a girl, then have said girl punch him so hard that he spends the night in the hospital thus not allowing him to set his lineup for that week: Ricky Brown. There are two guys who can vault this team to the top this year: Jay Cutler and RunDMC. If they don't become the studs they should be, it could be a long year in Kosher Pickle-land.

Most likely to have the volume turned up: Andrew Bale. The defending champ (still have no clue if he won) has arguably the best tight end in the world (yea, the world) in Jason Witten. That guy is gonna have a huge year in Big D. The champ is strong again in 2008.

Most likely to be a disappointment (in the league): Matt Birnbach. His teams never perform up to standards, why would this year be any different. Answer: Marshawn Lynch.

Most likely to end up having to wear glasses to read this blog: Evan Cabat. Gotta hand it to the bloke. Not only did he ruin the draft by making us use an AIM chat room, but he was eating pizza while imputting the teams and actually gave Glenn Holt to Shawn's team, as opposed to Torry Holt. Evan Cabat loves his pizza.

Most likely to be kicked out of the league once we find where Michael Edward Mitchell is hiding: Shawn Tasman. He's absolutely stacked at QB. Other than that, his team isn't that sexy. Fortunately for Taz, he's too busy having threesomes to give a crap what we think.

Fearless predictions:
1. Andrew
2. Doug
3. Shawn
4. Matt
5. Cabat
6. Ricky
7. Craig
8. Wasserman (biggest potential mover in this list)

Playoffs: Andrew defeats Matt, Shawn defeats Doug, Shawn defeats Andrew.

Good luck.

Players taken

2008-09-02T16:56:00.001-07:00

QB
Tom Brady
Peyton Manning
Tony Romo
Drew Brees
Carson Palmer
Derek Anderson
Jake Delhomme
Ben Roethlisberger
Matt Hasselbeck
Donovan McNabb
Brett Favre
Kurt Warner
Aaron Rodgers
Jay Cutler
Eli Manning
Phillip Rivers
Vince Young
Marc Bulger
David Garrard
Matt Schuab
Jason Campbell
Matt Cassell
Chad Pennington

RB
LaDanian Tomlinson
Adrian Peterson
Joseph Addai
Bryan Westbrook
Steven Jackson
Clinton Portis
Marion Barber
Frank Gore
Marshawn Lynch
Jamal Lewis
Larry Johnson
Ryan Grant
MJD
Brandon Jacobs
Reggie Bush
Willis McGahee
Brandon Marshall
Darren McFadden
Laurence Maroney
Ernest Graham
Michael Turner
Chris Johnson
Willie Parker
Edge
Jonathan Stewart
Selvin Young
Felix Jones
Chris Perry
Ricky Williams
Rashard Mendenhall
Kevin Smith
Ronnie Brown
Matt Forte
LenDale White
Fred Taylor
Deuce McAllister
Thomas Jones
Maurice Morris

WR
Randy Moss
Terrell Owens
Reggie Wayne
Braylon Edwards
TJ Houshmandzadeh
Andre Johnson
Larry Fitzgerald
Steve Smith
Marques Colston
Chad Ocho Cinco
Santonio Holmes
Calvin Johnson
Anquan Boldin
Plaxico Burress
Wes Welker
Torry Holt
Greg Jennings
Roy Williams
Jerricho Cotchery
James Hardy
Lee Evans
Marvin Harrison
Hines Ward
Lavernues Coles
Santana Moss
Dwayne Bowe
Roddy White
Reggie Brown
Chris Chambers
DeSean Jackson
Donald Driver
Anthony Gonzalez
Issac Bruce
Nate Burleson
Bernard Berrian

TE
Jeremy Shockey
Antonio Gates
Kellen Winslow
Dallas Clark
Jason Witten
Tony Gonzalez
Vernon Davis
Chris Cooley

K
Nick Folk
Shayne Graham
Adam Vinatieri
Stephen Gostkowski
Nate Kaeding
Phil Dawson
Rob Bironas

D
Vikings
Bears
Chargers
Pats
Packers
Cowboys
Steelers
Seahawks
Jaguars

BFFL League Rules

2008-09-02T16:28:00.000-07:00

Starters:
QB1
QB2
RB1
RB2
WR1
WR2
FLEX
TE
K
Defense

Bench:
5 spots available, any positions.... including missionary

Draft Order

2008-09-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

First overall pick: Evan Blake Wasserman. The original ladies man is no longer a free agent, after being signed by Jamie Cohen on a $1mil a year deal for all eternity.

Second overall pick: Rick(y) Brown. The former Mr Irrelevant now has two working arms. He could be a sleeper as an owner this season.

Third overall pick: Douglas Quincy Marks the III. The man who loves Obama more than mobile quarterbacks do is coming into this draft saying he will "draft his guys". Should be interesting.

Fourth overall pick: Matt Birnbach. The ultimate sportsman, Matt brings to the table moxie, panache and always the sexy.

Fifth overall pick: Shawn "ladykiller" Tasman. Not sure how well his namesake will be in fantasy football, but he has big shoes to fill as the whereabouts of Michael Edward Mitchell are unknown.

Sixth overall pick: Hard to believe this kid once wore glasses. Now with the vision of a shark, Evan Cabat comes into this draft on his high horse.

Seventh overall pick: From what Doug tells me, Andrew Bale is the defending champ. But if no one remembers it, did it really happen?

Eighth overall pick: Craig "Two time lucked into be the champ" Ginsburg has three rings on his fingers. Two BFFL title rings, and one "promise" ring from his "friend" Byron. We wish you luck in your future endeavors.